People judge me, every day, every moment, whenever they see me. Something about my hair… maybe that it hasn’t been washed in….. Something about my face, my eyes, my mouth. Something about how I smell… I haven’t been in water since days, weeks, months? People are afraid of me. They stare at me, sometimes they glare but I don’t blame them. When mothers see me, they take their child’s hand and cross the street. Get as far away from me as they can. But they don’t know I won’t hurt them. There is no point anymore. I lost everything when I lost my husband. I lost everyone. I had a husband. I had a child, a family, and I’ll never see any of that again. My husband left, my son’s been taken from me. I have no one. I have a home that’s not really a home. There’s nothing in there. I had a car but I had to give it away. I’m alone now. I don’t hurt anyone. I can’t hurt anyone because I can barely walk. So then why are they so mean to me? Why won’t they give me my medicine? I can’t hurt anyone! They hate me. I hate me! I don’t want to see myself and the only way to prevent from seeing myself is with my medicine. But they don’t want me to have it! They say it’s bad. They say I’m killing myself. I know I am, I know I’m dying! But what do I want to live for?! I live to drink. If I don’t drink, why do I live? I need a drink.
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